If you are struggling to thrive in a culture of constant criticism and comparison, you are not alone.
So many musicians share this, and never talk about it.
Let's get you unstuck so you can find the joy of making music again.
Hi, I’m Gökçe, and I help musicians overcome performance anxiety, self-doubt and perfectionism so they can perform confidently under pressure and love their craft again.
How it all began...
In 2018, I had finished yet another vocal technique course and had studied singing for over 10 years, but I couldn’t even bring myself to sing in front of a mirror.
Even though I was highly trained and dedicated to practice, I was so terrified of making an ugly sound or looking ridiculous in front of people – even a teacher, even fellow band members, and definitely in front of an audience.
My technique, which I had spent years perfecting, would go out the window the second I stepped on a stage.
I would hear this voice in my head, criticising every single thing I did or didn’t do, while making sure I noticed every bored or unhappy face in the crowd.
Frankly, coming down with the flu was preferable to performing in front of an audience.
And if you made it this far in your career and became a professional musician, you are braver than me. Because I believed that voice in my head and quit long before I could even audition for the conservatoire.
That critical inner voice had stolen all of my joy of performing.
And I don’t want that to happen to you.
What I tried...
I thought that taking even more lessons, finding new teachers (or ENTs, since something must be physically wrong), trying new gadgets (hello straws!) and soaking up every science-based voice model would bring me closer to having perfect technique.
Because once you have perfect technique, you are invincible, right?
But the lack of breath support and that judgemental inner voice would not go away even when I practised the same phrase for seven years.
It wasn’t until I studied coaching and voice pedagogy that I realised these symptoms were pointing to a bigger issue – one that would not lessen despite endless hours in the practice room or pushing myself to do daily gigs.
It’s an issue that is rarely discussed, never admitted to, even stigmatised in professional circles.
The real problem...
Shhhh! We don’t talk about it!
The cut-throat nature of our industry, the culture of ruthless criticism, and the ever-present idea that “you’ve got to have a thick skin to succeed” make it feel dangerous to admit weakness.
So we don’t. Sometimes, not even to ourselves.
It is not a coincidence that musicians are among the top five occupational groups for admission to mental health facilities.
We suppress difficult thoughts and emotions, pretending they do not exist, just to get through a performance or lesson.
And when suppressing is not enough, we try meditation, yoga, hypnosis, talk therapy, herbal aids, visualisation, ‘record & critique’, desensitisation through frequent performance…and when all else fails, beta-blockers or a glass of wine.
Frankly, I had long given up on a performance career by the time I got into teaching — both at the university as a lecturer and privately as a voice teacher. I wasn’t even planning to work with performance anxiety… until I started noticing its impact on my students.
The breaking point...
I saw far too many brilliant, sensitive, inspiring artists who were struggling to survive in overly competitive environments with training that can sometimes cross the abusive line (Whiplash, anyone?). I saw them losing their love for music, their self-esteem, and confidence in their abilities, and heard them wondering — just as I had — if they were not cut out for the job and should quit before things got worse…
This is not what performance is about. This is not the return that our art and craft should give us.
So I spent the past 8 years studying different coaching approaches and found useful tools in each one.
But the most notable ones were Jungian coaching, mindfulness, and Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT). When combined, these three approaches have the power to:
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Identify the habits and patterns of your inner talk so you can change them,
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Add in self-care and self-kindness routines, because self-criticism and shaming aren’t the best ways to keep being productive,
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Train your mind to stay in the present instead of spiralling into worry and fear,
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Clarify your personal values as a human being and a musician, like a compass to point the way to the work and life that brings you joy,
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Define clear actions with a roadmap to take you closer to your goals.
And you know what? Distancing myself from the industry gave me a fresh perspective on how unnecessarily destructive it can be.
I know what you are wondering:
Did I turn my life around and get back to performing after discovering how to manage the anxiety and perfectionism?
No — but only because my life is even more fulfilling now as a musician coach.
The truth...
My search had begun with a single focus: How to help my singing students overcome performance anxiety.
Because I believe that performance anxiety should not be an inevitable burden that comes with being a pro.
All the self-doubt, catastrophizing, inability to focus, avoiding auditions, or not practising till the very last minute?
In performing arts circles, you might have been told that you lack resolve, willpower, and self-discipline. And it hurts. Who needs another shortcoming to deal with when you are already trying to overcome the existing ones?
They make you feel broken.
But you are not broken. You are just stuck in unhelpful patterns.
This is why the solution is more than willpower, perfecting technique, self-medicating, or avoiding performances. It requires acceptance over avoidance, living in the moment, uprooting old stories and beliefs, discovering your core values and figuring out a roadmap to take action. This is the basis of my work with clients.
Gökçe understood where I was coming from and had wonderful tools and techniques to help me go after my true passion. She encouraged me to not let my doubts convince me I should stop performing. My nerves were leading me that way and in the end I now identify a better way to approach those situations.
I'd come to a place where I was questioning whether I even was a performer as the nerves ruined it for me. It turns out I 100% am, but need to be led by my values, not fears.
– Jasmin H. (Voice Teacher & Performer)
Here are a few things you should know about me:
I live in my childhood dream country, Scotland.
And yes, like every expat in the UK, I do occasionally complain about the weather.
It took me years to finally figure out that I am an ENFJ.
That means I'm a keen observer and an idealist — and I'm always seeking new knowledge to support those around me.
My housemates are a judgemental cat who joins in whenever I sing (and he cannot even sing in tune) and a metalhead partner (this one can carry a tune, but he chooses to growl anyway).
I cannot get enough of detective & adventure novels and movies.
Especially those involving Hercule Poirot, although my interest began with Tintin.
I am a tea addict with a strong preference towards Earl Grey.
But lately I've developed a taste for some kinds of coffee. It is still a work in progress though.
My favourite pastime activity is composing genreless instrumental music.
If you enjoy cinematic, post-classical or post-rock, check it out:
My training and credentials in a nutshell
I spent over 1800 hours teaching and coaching as a lecturer, voice teacher and musician coach over the past 8 years.
Along with:
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Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) Practitioner Certification & Coaching Supervision
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BAST - Be a Singing Teacher Course
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Breathwork, Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher Trainings
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EFT / TFT Tapping Practitioner Certification
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ICF ACSTH Jungian Coaching Certification
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ICF ACSTH Life Coaching and Student Coaching Certifications
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InterStrength™ Self-Discovery Practitioner Certification
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Mental Health Ambassador & Mental Health First Aider courses
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Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner
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Neurodiversity in the Voice Studio & Understanding and Working with Autistic Clients courses
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Providing Trauma-Informed Care & Trauma Informed Teaching courses
I’ve also had the privilege of presenting my research on voice pedagogy and music performance anxiety at conferences such as the Institute of Acoustics (IOA), the International Symposium on Performance Science (ISPS), and the British Voice Association (BVA).
These opportunities, along with my background as an acoustics consultant, university lecturer, singer, and former radio host, have shaped my approach.
But it wasn’t until I completed my MA in Voice Pedagogy that I fully committed to coaching musicians.
Because all the technique work in the world will not get you anywhere if nervousness, worries, and self-doubt are standing in your way.
And I want you to become the confident and joyful performer you want — or need — to be.